The duties of a best man are to plan the Buck and Doe and bachelor parties and give a speech at the wedding. I need to know this because I’m the best man at RC’s upcoming wedding. I’m just at the beginning stages of planning the bachelor party. E-mail makes it pretty easy, much faster than the old way. (Activate the phone tree. You phone someone, that someone phones someone else, and so on.) I’m a bachelor-party-planning virgin. Fingers crossed, hope it goes well.
As for a speech, I will not do this. I’m not a speech kind of guy, and besides RC (my best man) didn’t give one at my wedding, He didn’t want to and we didn’t force him. So I’m off the hook. Phew, as I wipe the sweat from my forehead. Dodged a real bullet there. Come to think of it, RC didn’t give me a bachelor party either, but I’ll guess I’ll give him a pass on that.
Now, on to the Buck and Doe – another responsibility of the best man, and, if they want, the whole wedding party, including the Bride and Groom, can help. First, let me explain what a Buck and Doe is for those non-Canadian folks that may not know what it even is. A Buck and Doe, Stag and Doe or Jack and Jill are a Canadian tradition. It acts as a fundraiser for the wedding. Guests purchase tickets to the Buck and Doe, where they are entertained with food, drink, music and games. OK, so now that we all know what a Buck and Doe is, let’s continue. I had minimal responsibilities on this one. The Bride-to-be did all the work. I set up a page on the Facebook, sold some tickets, and that’s about it. I really got off pretty easy. I will go and enjoy the festivity … because, as you all know by now, I love to party and I loves the drink.
Now back to the bachelor party. See, the problem is we are all too old for the whole stripper, strip club experience and, in my case, the Groom is not interested in that activity. It’s over-rated anyway. I mean, don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t like drinking beer and watching naked woman dancing (been there, done that). The girls are generally hot and skanky. But, I’m sure that they’re all so innocent. You know, they’re only working there to pay their way through the college or university program that is so expensive. (How many times you heard that one fellas?) The girls get even skankier when they find out that it’s the man’s last “shot” as a single man. (What happens at a bachelor party, stays at a bachelor party.) Who needs that? Most of us are married, and we wouldn’t want anyone to get in trouble now, would we? … So where do I go from here? I had a few thoughts – horse track and betting with buffet, maybe paintball, how about bowling or deep-sea fishing? All great male-bonding activities where everyone’s together. I was trying to stay away from golfing, even though it is fun as Hell, but the rest of the peeps thought golf sounded great and weren’t really interested in anything else. So, here we are,(so much for originality). I personally don’t like the groups of 4 for an event like this. You only get to see those 4 people for the better part of the day. I guess a gathering after with food and drinks will make up for that.
So what are ya gonna do? It’s settled. The groomsmen are in for the golf as well as the Groom, and that’s really all that matters. So now I just need to hash out a few more details, find a course, try to finalize the guest list, and try and collect the money in advance. That last part ought to be fun. And I’m a procrastinator, so my time is wearing thin. I’m looking forward to playing golf again, hacking up the grass and bootin’ around in the carts. (In my last experience, they served us alcohol and let us drive the carts. What a sport!)
Best man etiquette is not to get drunk and to make sure the party goes off without a hitch, and most of all, to make sure the Groom get’s plastered and has a great time. I’m sure others will help with that task. Maybe I can get a wee bit drunk and still keep up on my best man responsibilities. Ah who am I kidding, I will be as drunk as the rest of ya… Forrrrrrrrre! or is it Floorrrrrrr?