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Monthly Archives: January 2011

ABBA

To be a father ,a dad, a papa, un pere, or an abba. Wow, this will be something new, this will be nuts. I’m excited, nervous and scared all at the same time. Will I be a good parent? Only time will tell.
The role of a father … for fun, I thought I would check with my pal Google, and this is what it said: An entry from the Bible- Ephesians 6:4- Imagine that.

By God’s standards, anyone who is a father should first be a husband (Hello, welcome to 2011). Otherwise, souls are guilty of the sin of fornication (ah yes, fornication= FUN) Therefore, being a responsible father first you need to be a good husband. (I got that. Wifie may tell you otherwise, but she will be lying.)One must love, honour, nourish and cherish his wife in every aspect of her life. (Yep.) Only then will one be prepared to be a good father.

Tells me squat. What can I do? I can’t give birth, got no “va JJ” and other such parts. Can’t give milk. Got no “bazankas.” I mean, I got man boobs, and they are quite wonderful but I don’t think they will do. In reality, all I can give is love. “All you need is love, love… love is all you need” – The Beatles. I only wish that is all you need, cause I have lots of that, I’m bustin at the seams, but there’s food and diapers and clothing and sleep. I’t enough to drive a man crazy with anxiety. (long deep breath) However, according to the “Bee eye bee ell eeeh”, I’m in good shape. Oy gevalt!


We got pictures from the ultrasound, and my gawd, I think we are having an alien child. Kind of spooky.BOO! The picture has the baby looking at us, but all you can see is the skull, with the holes for the eyes. Take a look for yourself. The doctor advised Karen not to watch the alien movies

The first time I felt baby kick was crazy awesome, and wee bit heeby- jeebyish, I thought it may have just been Karen’s gas, ha, ha. She says it kicks her hard, but when I come to feel, it stops. I guess it already knows who the boss is, and knows when to behave. They say (whoever the hell they are) you should play games with it. Poke or push on the belly and see if it pushes or kicks back(sounds like weeks and weeks of torment for baby?). How the heck do they know it’s a kick anyway? Could be a punch or a knee or even a head bunt to mom’s guts. Who’s to say? Now he kicks or punches etc… quite hard. Mind blowing but still creepy. No way it’s gas. Definitely something living in there. We have ourselves a future football or soccer player.

As most of you already know, IT’S A BOY. If you didn’t know,I apologies for not telling you. It was top secret at first but I let it slip. So now the cat is out of the bag. Not that it really matters, as long as it’s healthy and has a penis. No, that’s a joke. It’s all good, as long as he or she is healthy. With a daughter, that would be a girl, I would have no clue what to do. You can’t play cars or GI Joe with a little girl. A son, that would be a boy, will be vonderbar. Someone to emulate me. Mini me … but then Karen will be a bit lost, but she catches on fast. One thing I’m sure of is that the learning curve will be pretty steep. Am I alone in this thinking or do all new parents feel this at first or does instinct takes over?
All I have to do now is wait… Oh its freek out time now, with only 4 weeks or so more to go. Wow 4 week and voila a baby

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Posted by on January 28, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

An observation, you will agree with.

Grocery shopping – My biggest pet peeve. In fact, it goes deeper than that, I detest it, no I hate it, no I loathe it, the very thought of it. So here is my observation. It’s a very simple process of loading and unloading. Those of you that know me will already be familiar with this particular observation, but here it is just the same.

First you load yourself and your reusable bags in the car (plastic bad), then you drive to the store where you unload yourself and the bags and load them into a cart … are you following so far? Here’s where it gets tricky. No, not really … you unload merchandise (groceries, etc.) off the shelves and into the cart. What comes next? Yep, you guessed it, you unload your cart at the cash (the check out). Next you proceed to load and unload the cart once again, (full bags back in the cart and full bags out of cart into car). See, it’s a vicious cycle. When you get home with a car load of groceries and an empty bank account (you unloaded some or most of your moneys), you need to unload the car Then unload the bags to put the items away (loading the fridge and cupboards). But wait, it doesn’t stop there, oh no, it keeps going. Later you unload your cupboard into a pan to cook and eat. You put it on a plate (unload from the pan load unto the plate) … I’m not high or drunk, it’s just my observation … and it keeps going on. Let’s see what comes next. Yes, you unload the plates (eating) into your belly. Mmmmm, good stuff. After you’re finished, you continue the process by removing (unloading) the condiments and loading the fridge, and you also need to load the dishwasher, which is followed by the unloading of said dishwasher at a later date. Then comes my favourite part. After you’ve done all this, your body does a little thing knows as digestion. You’ve loaded the body with delicious foods and drink and now it’s the body’s turn to unload (or drop a load if you prefer).The last step is great, but can we improve it? I think so, now bear in mind that this is only a thought and my opinion (which I’m sure you will share after I explain). What if we were to do the unloading of the plate and the body at the same time? Something to think about. No? So you would sit on the toilet at the same time as you eat your meals, doing both at the same time. Wow! What a huge time saver. Imagine all the free time you would have, by applying this to your daily routines. I’m cutting-edge people, cutting-edge let me tell ya. Way ahead of my time. It’s like killing two birds with one stone. In with new and out with the old. Get it? You take new food in and you let the old food go out. Hence loading and unloading the body at the same time. Just a thought or maybe I have way too much time on my hands….

It not just groceries shopping that cranks my gears it’s shopping in general. Wait a minute I actually love to shop. The problem is (I don’t think it’s a problem but the wife does) I’m an impulse shopper. We will just be walking around and I will decide to by a TV or an expensive camera or a car. Anything goes. We needed a car so we went out for a drive one day and boom popped into a dealership (the first one we drove buy) and in a half hour I (we) had purchased a car. We’re kind of in the market again for another vehicle, but I try to keep that thought out of my head for now, the funds are a wee bit low. Karen is the opposite of me (female).

She likes to research and research. It’s a wonder she buys anything, always looking for the best price and comparing this to that. If it’s something we need, hell, if it’s even something we want, I just pick it up and go. I’m, however, reluctantly changing for the better Karen would say (but I dunno). I now weigh it out … Hmmm, do we need it or do we just want it? How much is it? Can we afford it? I think she is wearing off on me. A prime example of this is when be bought our house. We had been looking for maybe only a month or so. Karen did a lot of research for this, so off we went to see the houses. I think there were 10. We saw them all in one night and we both liked the 10th one. We came to see it the next day (wanted to see it in daylight) and made an offer right away. If Karen wasn’t with me, I’d probably have made an offer on the first house right then and there, just to get the shopping experience over with. Karen is often scared about big purchases, and stresses to the max (me not so much. I’m a cool cucumber) She starts with the what ifs. “What if this or what if that? What if we? etc. But, here we are, going on three years, living in this house and we love it, with the car that we also enjoy parked in the garage. So I guess it’s OK to be an impulse shopper sometimes, and it’s OK to do the research sometimes, too.

It’s a good thing opposites really do attract other wise I would be broke all the time. On the other hand I would have lots of cool stuff. Hmmmmmm….

 
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Posted by on January 6, 2011 in Uncategorized